American Families vs Malaysian Families

From my three months experience in the U.S., I have observed certain similarities and differences between American families and Malaysian families. I want to emphasize that I am speaking from my own experience and observation, it may not be all the cases.

First of all, American families and Malaysian families are different in a way they value individualism. Americans value individual freedom very much. I was surprised to know that Americans normally leave their home at age 18 for college. After 18, their parents, generally, will never have much influence over what they do in their life. After 21, they are totally on their own. Their parents will not interfere in their affairs. Their parents will not have a say on whom they are dating, what they are doing in college, and how they spend their money. After they have a decent job, they will normally have their own house and get married. They seldom live together with their parents, but with their wife and kids. So their parents have to look after each other when they are old. On the contrary, Malaysian parents are more conscientious towards their children even if they have become adults or even become somebody's parent. They tend to offer unsolicited advice to their children. For instance, what college is best suited for them, what bachelor degree is good for them, what kind of career can generate the most economic profit. Malaysian parents generally have some influence over the decisions their children make. There are some, I know, who would disapprove the spouse that their children bring home, and force their children to split up with him or her. Some filial children will obey resentfully; some will end up in a fight or a long argument with their parents. Moreover, staying with parents is assumed to be the children's responsibility and it can be fulfilled by any one of the children.

American families and Malaysian families are similar in the roles of the parents. The father will usually work for a living to support the family financially. The mother will take care of the household chores and her children's upbringing. Nowadays, there has been an increase in working mothers in our country too. I would say that 9 out of 10 Malaysian women work. They are juggling the roles of career and family responsibility. In terms of power, both men and women are equal in our country. Each one of them has equal say in family matters.

I have personally observed a handful of divorce cases in Malaysia. From what I know, America has a high divorce rate too. It is as if one out of two marriages ends in divorce. Although divorce is common in Malaysia, however, the way Malaysians view it may be different from the way Americans view it. Malaysian kids, generally, will be ashamed to say that their parents have divorced. In the U.S., it is, nevertheless, socially accepted. I believe traditional Malaysians are taught to be attached to their spouse for life, even if they find they share different visions for their lives or have learned to value different things. A divorce seems harsh to each other especially if they have children. They are wary of their children's feeling if they decide to split. On the other hand, Americans, in general, will not feel very embarrassed to divorce. When Americans find that their relationship is no longer happy and fulfilling after a continuous compromise and a deep and honest communication, they know that it is time where a hard decision should be made.

All in all, I'd say the concept of family is equally stable in the U.S. and also in Malaysia.